There is an American saying that goes: “The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence” and its meaning is that we always believe that our position or problems are worse than other people’s. The next man is always luckier than us! Lately, by observing and talking to some friends, acquaintances and social contacts of mine, I see that they always consider their problems worse than their neighbors’. When they manage to overcome their current problem, they will move on to the next one – and which they consider even bigger! In this situation “the grass on the other side of the fence” seems to be the luckiest, the happiest, the smartest, the most desirable one in the village. Until the day comes when some people decide to reach and surpass the other side’s level, in order to finally overcome their own bad luck and unique misery…

And lo and behold…! Comes the satisfaction of choice, of the right choice, of relief, of joy! You see… finally, justice! The other grass is greener (and better)! But the flow of time has its own part to play; and as it does so… the other “grass” doesn’t seem to have the same prestige and the “greenness” it had when it was… the other grass… Suddenly, yet also methodically, certain thoughts start to swirl in the mind of the visitor, who is no longer a mere visitor but the inhabitant of the new grass! And, on the other hand, withered and almost apologetic, the poor previous grass seems to say… “What can I do? You chose to cross the fence… Not my fault…”

That’s when realization dawns… Life’s wisdom couldn’t be understood by some people, had they not crossed to the other side of the fence. Wisdom acquired through actions is the only kind that can never be lost and that is transformed into maturity and completion… The grass on the other side of the fence has been a great teacher to me: a teacher I carry around like a book comprised of many life events – mine, as well as others’… No… the other grass isn’t better than our own… For two reasons:

  1. There is no grass. We are the grass. The situations, the problems, the difficult times, the joyous times: we are all that. Therefore, the consequence of crossing “over” means that, in essence, we are moving… ourselves! I know that this is a very hard truth but, once we accept it, we are saved!
  2. Convincing ourselves that, in the end, our own grass is good (pay attention, I didn’t write the best!) and that it could have been, to a smaller or greater degree, worse… that’s a big thing! A very big thing indeed; because when people, through a lot of thought, maturity and pleasure, finally accept their own side, then… they are happy! They are wise, balanced and calm! They no longer feel curious about or jealous of a different “grass”. They are now clever enough and wise enough to avoid such “moves”, which will only bring hardship – at best.

Yet, all of the above are difficult things… Difficult to comprehend and difficult to put into effect. They usually come to teach us after losses that make us reconsider and look at ourselves – at our own contribution to our situation in life… And this truth, that comes back to us and reveals our nature to us, is a painful procedure that most people refuse to accept… It’s so much easier to blame our “grass” than to realize that, really, the grass is us…


Theodora Satolia



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